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Charles Kane

Crow's Geriatricks

By Charles Kane - Sunday, 26 April 2009

Steve Crow, notorious pornographer and convenor of the Erotica sex expo, is ploughing older fields for his increasingly risque business ventures.

The New Plymouth's Fitzroy RSA has recently had a management change and the self proclaimed "Porn King" has set up shop, converting the low cost eatery into an innovative bordello, offering entertainment and employment to the older patrons of the club.

"It's something new from something old," Crow mischeviously quipped, "We offer a cheap and experienced alternative to the more expensive options in the Red Light district."

Prices run from a quick hand job for $10, to full blown sexual intercourse for $50. Most of the sex workers are beyond retirement age but Crowe doesn't think that will stop punters, "Shigeo Tokuda is 75 and still going strong, you don't just hit a certain age and lose your sexual appeal."

Running at an almost $200,000 loss in the previous financial year, the RSA is now making healthy profits, Club President Graham Lowe is excited by the changes, "The Crow boys know what they are doing, they have definitely proved their worth."

However, not all the veterans are happy. 

Don Simmonds, a long-time member of the RSA strongly opposes the move: "We don't really want someone like (Crow) with his background running our club but the alternative is to close down."

Despite the criticism, Crow is confident the venture will be a success, "It's proving really popular with the patrons, the only alarming cost right now is lubricant. Can you believe we got through seven tubs of vaseline in the first hour?"

Can Crow's Geriatrics gain the requisite friction to make their new venture work? Only time will tell.

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